OLD
TESTAMENT IN A DOT COM ERA
Author unknownAn old, bearded shepherd with a crooked staff, walks up to a stone
pulpit and says...
And lo, it came to pass that the trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a
young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long
of leg. Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot Com. And she said unto Abraham, her
husband, "Why doth thou travel far, from town to town, with thy goods when thou can
trade without ever
leaving thy tent?"
And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load,
but simply said, "How, Dear?" And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all
the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale and they
will reply telling you which hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums
and delivery by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)".
Abraham thought long and decided
he would let Dot have her way with the drums, as long as he could have his way with her.
And Dot said, "There will be a lot of banging in the land". And Abraham replied,
"It is my most fervent wish that this be so".
And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had,
at the top price, without ever moving from his tent. But his success did arouse envy. A
man named Maccabia did secrete himself inside Abraham's drum and was accused of insider
trading. And the young did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly to camel
dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Siderites, or NERDS for
short.
And lo the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of
drums, that no one noticed that the real riches were going to the drum maker, one Brother
William of Gates, who bought up every drum company in the land. And indeed did insist on
making drums that would only work if you bought Brother Gates' drumsticks.
And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we
have started is being taken over by others". And as Abraham looked out over the Bay
of Ezekiel, or as it came to be known, "eBay", he said, "We need a name of
a service that reflects what we are". And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew
Owner Operators". "Whoopee!", said Abraham. "No, YAHOO!", said
Dot Com.
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