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WITH so many new-fangled thingamabobs and gadgamatics that inflitrate our lives, the lure of cyberspace sometimes dulls our senses to 'technologies' that stare us in the face. When we have grown tired of the clunky watches that do not synchronize our address books with our palm-tops, the pagers that will not fax our cell-phones, and the CD ROMs may soon be attached to our clothing, I am willing to bet that there will be one piece of technology that would make all these wintels pale by comparison. It was invented about 450 years before the Microchip, and is still the only device that you can take to the beach without rechargeable batteries. Written by a man by the name of Tatsumo, the spec sheet for this remarkable invention will change the way you think of browsing:

ANNOUNCING A NEW TECHNOLOGY:
Finally! A technology that's simple and innovative, a sure way to improve your personal and professional lives in ways that were untenable to previous generations. Announcing the new "Built-in Orderly Organized Knowledge" device, or BOOK.

The BOOK is a revolutionary breakthrough in modern information technology: no wires, no electric circuits, no batteries -- nothing to connect or switch on. But it's so easy to use, even a child can operate it. Just lift its cover.

Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere -- in an armchair, a bus seat or classroom -- yet it's powerful enough to hold as much information as a CD-ROM. Here's how it works...

Each BOOK is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of paper called "pages," which are recyclable, bio-degradable components that, remarkably, are capable of holding THOUSANDS of bits of information. These pages are locked together with a custom-fit device called a binder, which keeps the sheets in their correct sequence. Opaque Paper Technology allows manufacturers to use both sides of the sheets, which DOUBLES the information density and cuts costs in half.

Experts are currently divided on the prospects for further increases in information density, but have agreed to an international protocol to address the issue: BOOKS with more information now use more sheets.

Each sheet is scanned optically by the user, registering information directly into his/her brain. Thanks to the BOOK's special ergonomic design, a flick of the finger takes users to the next sheet. A maintenance-free innovation, the BOOK can be taken up at any time, can deliver instant access to data, and has a unique "sleep" function that eliminates special shut-down procedures: put it down. The BOOK never crashes and never needs rebooting, though, like other display devices, it can be damaged if repeatedly thrown.

The BOOK comes with a "browse" feature that gives users true navigational independence by allowing them to move instantly to any sheet and move forward or backward as desired. Many BOOKS offer an "index" feature that pinpoints the EXACT location of any selected information asset for instant retrieval.

An optional "Bookmark" accessory allows you to open the BOOK to the exact place you left in a previous session -- even if the book has been closed. Bookmarks fit universal design standards -- thus, a single Bookmark can be used in BOOKS manufactured by multiple vendors.

But BOOKS also deliver high-level interactivity on every sheet by allowing users to input personal notes beside BOOK text entries. All the user needs is an optional programming tool called the "Portable Erasable Nib Cryptic Intercommunication Language Stylus," or PENCILS.

Manufacturers have anticipated such a huge demand for BOOKS that spin-off companies have developed special archiving technologies for storage and retrieval of large numbers of BOOKS, such as the "Structural Housing Element for Loose Volume Efficiency System," or "BOOK SHELVES." Portable, durable, and affordable, the BOOK is being hailed as the entertainment and education wave of the future. The BOOK's appeal seems so certain that thousands of content creators have committed to the platform.

Look for a flood of new titles soon.